


Abomination

by sterekristmas



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Episode Tag, M/M, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Past Paige/Derek, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 06:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2339090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterekristmas/pseuds/sterekristmas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The word "abomination" always hunted Derek. Until it saved him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abomination

**Author's Note:**

> what is this??? Idk just my feelings everywhere. I wasn’t going to write this since English is not my language and I haven’t written anything in like 2 years, but then I just HAD to.  
> please if you find any mistakes correct me.

When Derek was 8 he fell in love for the first time. It was this cute boy who used to play basketball with him every day after school. One day he told to him, trying for nonchalant, but probably failing, that he really liked werewolves. Jimmy immediately said that they were really awesome indeed and after that they became best friends. Derek knew that he was his mate for life.

(Laura says that mates aren’t really a thing and is really stupid, but their dad tells them stories at night about centuries ago where werewolves were known and sometimes they would fall in love with humans and be mates forever.)

So one day he brought a flower to school and gave it to Jimmy asking him to be his boyfriend. He had said it in front of the class, thinking it would be romantic, but everybody started laughing and Jimmy just said he couldn’t and gave the flower back to him.

Even with his heart broken Derek still wanted to spend time with him, it wasn’t his fault if he couldn’t love Derek back, but on lunch Jimmy told Derek that they would have to stop being friends.

Derek ran to hide in the bathroom where he cried and for the first time his claws and teeth came out and even when he stopped crying he still couldn’t control them.

The thing is, you can only shift to the beta form when the puberty comes, but claws, teeth, and eyes can happen since you’re a baby if you get upset, but you can’t control it at all. But Derek hadn’t got them ever (his mom says he’s a really happy kid) and if it wasn’t for his non-human senses grandpa says he would think he’s not a werewolf.

Laura found him at the end of the day and had to call mom so she could make him shift back with the alpha power. He felt so humiliated when they tried to cheer him up that when they got home he screamed that he hated to be a werewolf and if they were normal they wouldn’t have to hide.

His mom had made him sit in the corner for 10 minutes and then make him promise to never repeat that again. He felt really bad to disappoint then twice in the same day.

When he was 13 years old, for the first time he shifted to the beta form in the full moon. Everyone was really proud, but now he had to be even more careful to hide their secret.

But one day this annoying kid was bragging about how handsome and the best player he was and how he would get all the girls and what a loser they were. And not that Derek really cared (he would prefer to not be compared to people like Jason), but some of the other boys were getting upset and Jason wasn't the captain? Wasn’t he supposed to be cheering the team?

So basically he got in a fight with him and everything was fine he was just trying to send him a message he wasn’t going to hurt him, but Jason said that Derek was weird just like the rest of his family and the only one who was good was Laura and when he won the champion he would have sex with her and then break her heart.

It was it. Derek just saw a blur and he punched Jason non-stop and he didn’t even noticed that his claws were out and the boy was bleeding until everybody started screaming.

His parents were called and he was suspended and the worst was seeing their faces, once more disappointed with him.

But this time it didn’t stop there, his mom said that he was forbidden to play basketball until he could control his shift and they didn’t even try to hear what he had to say.

When Laura came to talk to him he couldn’t help but feel that it was her fault and he said so to her. She laughed and then he told her how he was defending her honor and for a moment she looked stunned but then she said how he was silly and that she didn’t need him.

So he exploded and told her they were all freaks. “We who? Your family?” and he said that he couldn’t be related to this freaks and that they were all wrong and truly abominations. For the first time her guard was down enough for him to see _and_ _smell_ her feelings of betray and sadness.

She left his room and didn’t talk to him for a week. He felt like he deserved more.

When he met Paige and everything worked out between then he couldn’t help but remember that little kid who believed in mates. Somewhere deep inside he thought that maybe she could be it for him.

But this wasn’t his first, not even his second love. He already knew that he couldn’t tell her that he was a werewolf, he would have to ask for permission from his mom first. And everything felt so wrong.

He was talking about love, it should be simple, it was like his own family was betraying him. A sick trick from god that just made everything more complicated.

But Peter convinced him that everything could be simple if she was a werewolf too. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but if he told his mom that he wanted to tell this girl about werewolves she would probably laugh at him. Laura was dating this guy for a year and still hadn’t told him.

But she knew how it was an obstacle between them and he didn’t want this between him and Paige. So he let Peter do his thing.

Paige died and he cursed his blood that made him a werewolf, he cursed his parent, cursed the first werewolf in the world, cursed god.

It _was_ probably a curse. Being a werewolf wasn’t normal. His family acted like it was but if it was really good she wouldn’t have died. They wouldn’t have to hide. The color of his eyes changed and he felt different from everybody.

Grandpa and grandma looked at him kind of shocked. He could feel everybody pitying him and he cursed them too for being abominations. Just like him.

But even with these moments, for the most part, he still liked being a werewolf. It was like being a superhero and he loved his family even if sometimes he would like to have more privacy.

Until he met Kate.

He had told himself he wouldn’t tell her anything about werewolves. Unless they ever got married, if she decided to leave him then it would be fine. If she decided that she didn’t want to have kids with him it would be just normal. It would just show how smart she really was.

But for the most part, he didn’t really think about it. They were having sex all the time and it was good, she was a few years older and everything about then was secret and felt wrong, but he kept doing it cause wasn’t everything in his life wrong anyway?

But then she killed his family and it was the biggest joke of the universe. He never really loved her, not like Paige, god, not even like Jimmy, but it still tasted bitter in his mouth.

Most of the people on his family would only date other werewolves, but he was stupid enough to not only date them but trust them enough to show his home to them and write the death penalty to his family.

On the weeks after the fire he would wake up thinking words like "abomination", "bizarre", "twisted", and hate himself like never before. He promised he would never trust a human again.

They didn’t understand what he was, they were cowards and every time you trust them they betray you.

Stiles had spent 2 hours lifting Derek's paralyzed body out of the water, keeping him from drowning. Even then he knew that he was only doing this for Derek to save him later.

“So it’s like you?” He had asked, looking tired after everything.

“A shifter, yes, but it’s wrong, it’s…” Derek searched a word to characterize it.

“An abomination.” Stiles had said that like it was so simple, had looked at him with an honesty that made him feel so vulnerable and speechless that he could only nod with his head.

He almost ran away, it was like his bubble was crashing. Why was this human still fighting with werewolves? After seeing everything they could do, he still worked with one. He still thought that they were normal.

He needed 16 years to learn not to trust a human but in a few weeks this kid had made him want to trust him.

Humans are scared little things that in the first change betray anything if is the best for them. He tried to remind himself, but them the image of Stiles taking no shit and fighting werewolves even when still being a human would appear in his mind.

He wasn’t like this. Of course, Scott was his priority, but he couldn’t help but feel like he could trust him. He thought that he would feel bad, but it felt right. Most of the things he had done had felt wrong, but this felt right just like when he called Scott a brother.

Maybe there was still some hope for him.

**Author's Note:**

> 2 things.  
> First I was going to write Derek and Kate’s relationship completely different but I feel like after Paige it doesn’t make really sense that Derek would be like crazy in love with her and with their interaction on the show this season I’m just even more into my headcanon.  
> The second thing is just that I have so many feelings about this moment that I have to talk more about it like, before this moment Derek never really trusted Stiles?? Like he said in the episode that he didn’t trust him and everything, but after this you can just see that their relationship changed. The first scene of them together after this is when they are paralyzed and is the first time Stiles asks Derek things and he answer like they are equals and \\(◕‿◕✿)/ is really beautiful.  
> Sterek is really beautiful thanks for reading this.  
> 


End file.
